“Don’t Fix Me, Just Love Me” by Jordan Hill, volunteer on the South Africa Singles Corps
My experience in South Africa was incredible and impactful. On my first day back, all my co-workers bombarded me with questions like: “Well!? How was it? Did you have fun? Did you take pictures?” To which I would smile at them, mentally ask myself, “How do I explain to them that my trip was good, but not the ‘good’ they’re asking?” And eventually I would shrug and say, “Yeah, it was good.” As the days have passed, “yeah, it was good” has expanded to in-depth discussions on what I experienced and learned. One thing I learned was that these kids weren’t broken.
I arrived at the creche with my crew and expected the worst—worn-down materials, children without shoes, and a feeling of despair. That was not what I found at all. What I found and experienced was exuberant joy in the form of jumping, laughing, screaming children, whose eyes just glittered with a spirit of play. I was taken aback, and completely thrown off. Where was this vision I was expecting? I grew troubled and uncomfortable. I didn’t come here to work with...with...with preschoolers!? I came to work with children who were down in the dumps and less than me. Soon enough, that feeling of despair came, but it ended up emitting from me, go figure.
After another day at the creche passed with me trying to figure out how the child in front of me was still joyful, despite the fact that we had just spent the last ten minutes unsuccessfully trying to count to four. It eventually dawned on me after that day. I went into South Africa with the desire to “fix” these children...but when I really looked at it, what about them was I trying to fix? What was so flawed about them, that I chose to overlook the joy and laughter all around me.
These precious, lovely children were just like the children back home. I could switch them out with kids from my school, and they’d do just as well. These kids didn’t want my fixing. They wanted my love and attention. They wanted my laughter and my joy. If they danced, they wanted me to dance. They wanted to hold my hand. Yes, learning to count to three is important, but that comes with time, and with an effort that will take longer than a week.
And like that, the pressure was lifted. Instead of a broken vessel, what was in front of me was a child who needed to be loved, nurtured, and enjoyed. I’m so grateful for this experience because it taught me that the great things we do are caused by love, and that, at times, the greatest and the only thing we are asked to do is simply love. Yeah...it was good
Do you want to experience love like this? Well, you can. Check out our amazing 2020 Volunteer Corps programs today.
